the best <3
A letter to the guys who break my heart:
I was there for you no matter what. If you lied I would be upset of course but I got over it as long as you told me the truth, if we got into arguments I always apologized first because you mean more to me than a stupid argument, if you got overly stressed because life’s a bitch all I wanted was to be there and make you happy.. To just be there for you, yes sometimes I have break downs and I think I’m not worth anyone’s time.. But that’s when I need you the most.. I need you to say you’re there and won’t leave.. I have no one else.. I push them away so I don’t mess this up.. I know I’m a flirt and don’t always realize so I just push everyone away so It’s just me and you against the world.. You’re all I need and I couldn’t imagine hurting you.. But it’s always the opposite.. These guys always just leave. And when you leave.. I really don’t have anyone else to fall back on and to be there for me when I’m hurting.. I closed them out for you but then I’m left alone to over think things and hurt myself more. I guess I wasn’t worth your time. When all I showed you was love and compassion and showed I wouldn’t leave your side.. I’m just treated like shit. I will fight for you.. Even when the fight it over.. Even when you’ve decided that another girl is better in my place.. When I never did anything. I still wish you were mine.. Those kisses were between us.. Those hugs that just make me feel safe from the world.. Those aren’t meant for her.. But apparently they weren’t meant for me either. Now when I see you.. My heart beat rises and I shake but not because I’m excited.. These butterflies aren’t there anymore they’ve turned into dragonflies just setting fire to my stomach making me feel sick.. this is because I’m scared.. But why? I want to say “hi” but it just feels impossible. I want to tell you the things that have happened lately.. But you don’t care anymore. I want to know what happened between us I want to know what you’re thinking but I’ve lost sight of what I’m even thinking anymore.
All I show is love.. But then they just leave.
